I stink at transitions. As a young child I loved to plan and schedule things. When a transition is not planned, it makes it even tougher for me. I rage and pout. I dig my heels in and protest this transition. I need that time to grieve the familiar.
A positive outlook helped me a lot with this latest transition, but I still struggled with days and hours of self doubt and depression. I wallowed in sadness and pity. The only way for me to move forward is to sit with all the uncomfortable feelings.
Of course my anxiety spiked due to the unplanned transition. I also struggled with my first significant colitis flare in over a year. I realized that I needed to be mindful and practice self-care. I needed quality sleep. I needed to move my body. I needed to eat healthy foods. My emotions were too raw to blog, so I wrote in my journal instead. I read books. I listened to guided meditation and inspiring podcasts.
I had two major takeaways from this experience. One is a comment made by the outplacement service. We all stay too long at our jobs. I had been bored for a while. I was no longer challenged on a daily basis. I had become complacent. I was comfortable with where I was. I needed to challenge myself, but I was afraid to take that first step.
My second aha moment was realizing how much I missed not building better relationships with my colleagues. I had so much fun at work during my final week just reconnecting with people. I am an extrovert by nature, and I need interaction with others to recharge my batteries. When I bring my authentic self to the workplace, I am more engaged and more productive. So next year I will begin my new position on January 4th with an open mind and an open heart.