For the past eight years I have done the word of the year. I was introduced to the possibility of the phrase of the year last year. When I reflect on last year’s word of Inspire, I felt inspired by so many works of art. I realized that I had not been making the time to write as much as I wanted to. It wasn’t for lack of inspiration. It was fear that was holding me back. When I put my words out on the Internet, they are up for interpretation. I cannot control how my words get interpreted. I need to “close my eyes and leap” as Elphaba sang in Defying Gravity. Clearly I need to write more. I am reading Big Magic again by Elizabeth Gilbert to give me the nudge and push I need.
This year I chose a phrase of the year. My phrase is Use my voice. I realized that I have a unique perspective to share as a dear friend Yael once reminded me. When we share our stories, they can help others heal and understand. When I share my story, it helps me remind myself of where I have been and where I am now.
As I am nearing the end of a year unlike any other I have experienced in my adult life, I realize that I have had to “use my voice” many times this year. I had to ask for help for myself which meant increasing my therapy sessions from once every three months to a monthly and sometimes weekly check in. I needed to schedule my vacation and personal time even though I wasn’t traveling anywhere. I still needed that brain break and virtual meeting break. I hate to ask for help, and I was humbled by offers of help from dear friends when our entire nuclear family came down with Covid-19. I accepted those offers of help which brought us joy, comfort and sustenance.
I am continuing to use my voice as I use my white privilege to speak up and speak out. If I want to do better, I have to start with myself. I keep examining beliefs I learned and internalized. I am listening to different thought leaders who are diverse in their beliefs and opinions. I continue to read as many books as I can by authors who do not look like me. I am continuing to consume movies and television shows that do not center the white male or white female gaze.
I use my voice every time I talk or text with a new parent to let them know that they are not alone. I keep urging our lawmakers to do better and pass laws to help protect all birthing parents. I use my voice to help smash the stigma of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders every time I share my story or share information from Postpartum Support International.
Tranquila Mama 