Transitions: Beginning of School and Beginning of Dance

003September is all about transition around here.  Both girls are now in school together.  Skeeter is adapting well to the new school, and Munch is adoring first grade.  With fall comes the new year of dance classes.  Skeeter is taking both ballet and tap this year.  Munch is taking ballet, tap, jazz and hip-hop.  The girls love their new teachers at our studio, and they can barely sit still without dancing around the house during dinner.  The girls have been more tired and cranky as we adjust to our new normal.

I, on the other hand, stink at transitions.  These transitions cause me so much anxiety. This month has not been kind to me and my mental health.  My anxiety was ramping up way too much.  I stopped my weaning efforts entirely, and I upped my dosage of my antidepressant.  I heard a wonderful talk regarding how transitions cause anxiety and that this is normal.  I feel like I do my daughters a disservice when I cannot manage my anxiety.  It has been a year since I got into a car accident that resulted in the return of my intrusive thoughts.  When my husband mentioned that anniversary, it made so much sense how heightened all these transitions and changes were making me.  I struggled with daily panic attacks for  a week.  I could not figure out why everything was affecting more.  My self-care routine had remained the same.  In fact I was exercising with more frequency and more intensity.  This did not seem to diminish the feelings of panic.  I need to realize that I need to give myself grace and kindness as the summer ends and the school year begins. I am giving myself lots of room and space to understand that medication is a necessity for me. I need this medication to regulate my brain chemistry.  That small pill is key to my mental health and my self-care routine.

About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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6 Responses to Transitions: Beginning of School and Beginning of Dance

  1. Ruth says:

    So important to offer ourselves grace and space through transitions. I also find the need to do more/different self care, which can initially cause me more angst. Hope October greets you with warm fall days & comfort in the new routine.

  2. John says:

    Here’s hoping the anxiety ramps down as suddenly as it ramps up. But, yeah, transitions are difficult — nothing to be ashamed of in freaking out about new routine (especially when new routine is paired with the anniversary of a great yuck).

    Leila takes tap & ballet . . . she loves them. Alas, my schedule means that I’m seldom able to actually get to class to see her just afterward.

    • Thank you John. I have finally settled down into our routine, and the anxiety has ramped back down to its dull buzz.

      We only get to watch the classes two or three times a session because my little ladies don’t pay attention in class. I just love watching them perform.

  3. moirasennett says:

    I think that, no matter how much we know we have a physical need for the medication, it is still tempting to want to go without it. I know that is a constant struggle for me.

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