Sleeping beauty

I read this post by Deborah of Truthful Mommy, and it really struck a chord with me. I was watching my sweet Munch sleep the other night. She looked at the same time like the baby I nursed to sleep and the girl she is becoming. I cried thinking of how impatient I am with her.

She is just a little girl who wants her mommy’s attention so badly. I am making a concerted effort to spend more time with her alone. Since Skeeter takes a long afternoon nap, this is feasible. I know that she will be in school full-time next year, and I want to cherish every moment I have with her.

Munch is so sensitive just like I am. She had a hard time transitioning with her little sister. Part of that was due to my anxiety and depression. I wish I could erase those memories of how sick I was and how much I emotionally and mentally wasn’t there.

My sweet brave girl, I wish I could slow time down and keep you little for a little while longer. My job as your mama is to raise you to become independent. I love you so much, and your compassion shines through in all of your actions. Remember always how much I love you. Never forget that. Always keep your sweet, forgiving spirit. You teach me and inspire me every day.


About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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13 Responses to Sleeping beauty

    • Thank you so much Kristin. She gave me the best gift ever yesterday. We talked about when Mommy was sad and mad a lot after her sister was born. She said oh mama I don’t remember that at all. I felt this huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

  1. Parenting is not an easy job, and we all make mistakes we wish we could go back and correct. But the most important thing to remind our children is that we are not perfect and to apologize when we are wrong. I totally understand where you’re coming from when you say that you’ve let your impatience, anxiety and depression get in the way of your role as a mother. I’ve been there and still am there. Life is difficult, but as long as we are aware of our issues and working on them, it should all be okay. Thank you for sharing such important words.

    • Thank you so much Xiomara. I apologize every time I let my impatience, anxiety and depression get the best of me. My girls are learning that I make mistakes. They also learn that I continue to learn from my mistakes. I acknowledge their feelings. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and support.

  2. I think that it is important though that our children see flaws…no one is perfect. Even on your worst day, you’re a good mom. You are very concious of your babes and striving to me more for them. xo

    • Sweet Kim, thank you so much. The girls definitely realize that I am not perfect, so hopefully they won’t feel my urge towards perfectionism. This gave me goosebumps when I read this comment. It resonated with me. I am striving to be more for them. xoxo

  3. Hugs, mama. It is my belief as parents that we only do the best job that we can, and that in itself is a gift to our kids. I definitely have memories I wish I could erase from when I was sick and the kids witnessed things I wish they hadn’t. But then, I wouldn’t have been able to learn and grow from those experiences. Hang in there. You’re doing a great job being their mama the only way you know how. xoxo

    • Jennifer, thank you so much. I have learned and grown so much from my struggles. My mental health challenges helped me realize what type of parent I wanted to be. xoxo

  4. story3girl says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. What a lucky girl you have and what a lucky mama you are to have her. And it’s so much easier to see the sweetness when they’re sleeping, isn’t it? 😉

    • Thank you so much. She is a joy and a light in my life. It is so much easier to see the sweetness when she is not testing me with her sassiness, a perk of being five.

  5. Mindbender99 says:

    That is a wonderful post… Kids are truly awesome! Hope all is well with you 🙂

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