My wish for my birthday girl

My little Skeeter,

I cannot believe that you will be two years old already!  You are not a baby anymore.  You are an inquisitive, bright toddler who loves to try new things.  You love to point out all the things you see in the world around you.  I hope that you do not lose that sense of wonder.

I regret that I struggled for such a long time after you were born, my sweet girl.  Mama was sick, sad and angry until I found the help that I needed.  It was not your fault, and it was not my fault.  Never blame yourself.  You were very much wanted and loved.  I just struggled trying to figure out who you were and how I was going to adjust to being a mom of two.

You are so very different from your big sister, but you are so much alike.  You love to test your limits and boundaries.  You have to climb all the surfaces.  Currently your favorite spot in the house is the bathroom sink and counter.  If I cannot hear you, then I know you are there.  You love to sing and dance.  You give the greatest hugs.  You repeat everything Daddy, Munch or I say even when you know it is something you should not say.  Let’s not tell your teachers where you learned “Dammit”, okay? 

Thank you for bringing me back to myself and forcing me to stop and smell the roses.  I love you so much, and your love and our connection helped me heal.  Nursing you was the greatest gift I could ever give myself and you.  It was the one thing that I clung to while I was so sick.  That connection helped me cement my bond with you.  I admire your persistence and your assertiveness.  You will always be my baby even though you are now a little girl.

Love,

Mama

About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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12 Responses to My wish for my birthday girl

  1. Right, J?

    My first born broke me down and then built me back up again. Tore away at the false that was there and took me to the real. Gave me the chance to finally shine and be good at something. I’ve always been mediocre at everything, but being his mother? I kicked ass at that.

    BEAUTIFUL WORDS, girl.

    Happy Birthday to your angel.

    • tranquilamama says:

      A, I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes. I realized what I am truly good at and what I shine at. I do not need to be anything other than the mom that i am for my two little girls.

      My angel and her big sister saved me and healed me daily. They force me to live in the now and focus on the present.

      Thank you for your sweet words of kindness.

  2. Lisa B says:

    Gorgeous words. If dammit is the worst thing they’ve heard, then you’re doing well. Ahem. Happy birthday to your little Skeeter.

  3. Beautiful post, Jenny. Happy Birthday to little Skeeter!🙂

  4. Sorry I’m late; OK, I’m way behind! But here I am now.
    Just wanted to say that this was such a beautiful post, and to send best wishes for a Happy Birth(ing) Day, and a Happy Birthday. As you know, my baby also just turned two, and I really don’t know where those two years went! I think I must have blinked… You captured this moment in time beautifully.

  5. Jess says:

    Isn’t it funny how different they can be? Happy birthday to you both🙂

    • No one told me how different they could be. Seriously that was the biggest shock of becoming a mom of two. I started at my lactation consultant slackjawed like I was catching flies. That was truly an aha moment for me. Thank you. We had a wonderful birthday, and we celebrate the big girl’s birthday tomorrow.

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