Powerless to Help the Ones I Love

Some days all I want to do is reach out and hug everyone I know.  Don’t worry…I won’t.  I am a hugger, but I might creep out my entire team, including my boss.  Although I’ve sung and cried in front of my team within the past three weeks, so it might not be that weird.  I do not want to end up in HR, talking about appropriate behavior in the workplace.

Have you ever had those days where you can feel the hurt, the pain and the grief oozing from someone?  You tiptoe around them, watching and waiting for the chance to show you care.  I wonder if this is how my husband felt when I was in the throes of my postpartum depression.  I struggle with saying something, anything.  I do not want to intrude on their space, but I want them to know how much they are loved. 

My heart hurts today for all my mama warrior friends who are struggling, for my husband who lost a colleague and friend, my mom, my mother-in-law, my sweet cousin, my coworker and my best friend.  I wish I could have Harry Potter’s wand and make the suffering go away. 

“Why can’t I save the world?”, I complained to a sweet friend this afternoon.  She is kindness personified, and she too wants to save the world.  Then I realized that I am doing my part by raising my little girls to be open, tolerant, kind and caring and so is she.  I wish for my girls to know how they continue to heal me on a daily basis by their actions of love, kindness and comfort.  I want to give that gift to my friends and family.  I’m here, ready and waiting for whenever you need me.  That is all we can ask for – connection and validation of our feelings. 

If you are struggling, please know this.  In the words of the lovely Lauren Hale of http://www.mypostpartumvoice.com/, “You are not alone.  You are not to blame.  You will get better.”

 

 

About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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8 Responses to Powerless to Help the Ones I Love

  1. It is so hard to be on the other side of the fence. So so hard. The thing we have to remember is that saying I love you and that you’re there is all that they need to hear. xo

  2. Laura says:

    Your Twitter messages helped me tonight. Perhaps you’re not so powerless after all.😉 So of course thank you. And I’m always here to return the favor if need be.

  3. Jess says:

    You are a wonderful awesome person.

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