The Morning Routine Revisited

This is an update to my post about how the morning routine was a huge trigger for me.  https://tranquilamama.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/my-undoing-the-morning-routine/  The morning routine still creates anxiety for me, but I am able to better manage my reactions to it.

Two of the biggest changes to this routine were stopping pumping in December of this past year.  I also began the slow process of weaning Skeeter.  I transitioned into a new position at work, and my schedule was changing a bit.  I took that time to eliminate the wake up for the day nursing session at the beginning of May.  Skeeter had a few rough days, but I make sure to give her some extra cuddle time. 

My husband and I are now consistently having Munch pick out her clothing the night before.  We lay out as much as we can the night before to avoid rushing around at the last-minute.  I also pick out my own clothes for the next day and pack my lunch.

I have talked to Munch a lot about my feelings.  I will tell her when she is frustrating me.  She and I have had many discussions about how to make the morning go smoother for both of us.  A real breakthrough happened within the past two weeks.  I told Munch that sometimes I just need a hug.  A lot of my frustration stems from the fact that both of the girls do not listen well.   I told Munch that it makes me sad.  I feel like no one is hearing me and that no one cares.  She has taken this to heart.  The other day I started to become anxious.  Munch turned around and caught my attention.  She gave me a huge hug.  That moment of connection was all that I needed to come back to myself and to my girls. 

I am awed daily by my girls’ capacity for compassion and empathy.  Skeeter talks quite a bit, but she cannot articulate her feelings yet.  Somehow she intuitively knows the times that I need a snuggle the most.  My girls save me from myself every day by their affection and attention.  The best part of my day is the joy in their voices and the sparkles in their eyes when I come home.

About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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9 Responses to The Morning Routine Revisited

  1. Mirjam says:

    The morning was my worst moment of the day. I still get tears in my eyes thinking about how bad it was. I used to have tears in my eyes all morning and had to use all my self control not to snap at my kids. Most of the time something would go wrong what made me snap anyway.
    My morning routine is all about schedules now. Like you, I prepare everything the previous day and I have a routine for the kids. But it is easier now that I have a little more energy. I have to reward the kids to stay on the right track. And make sure I go to bed in time.
    Everything is so much better but still it requires a lot of work.

    Anyway, I talk too much!

    I love the hug, what an awesome way to connect in the midst of all that.
    You will get there, you will.

    • Mirjam,

      We are getting there slowly but surely. I am trying to get us back on track. We have let bedtimes get a little later for all of us, me included. We all do so much better in the morning when we are all well rested. My oldest starts her 4 preK program next week Tuesday, so I am determined to start a new leaf with new week. I want to pack my lunch the night before again.

      Mornings are still stressful and hectic for me, but there is much less frustration and tears.

  2. jamesandjax says:

    Aww, I am so happy that things are getting better. Your children’s compassion, affection, and attention speaks volumes about you as a mother.

    • Jaime, that comment made me teary. Thank you so much. This morning was a bit rough, but I had a breakthrough with the oldest. She admitted to me that she listened better to her daddy than she did to me. So I am trying to figure out why that is. Little by little, the mornings get better and easier. Today’s rough morning was not helped by my weekly conference call. The girls sense when my attention is divided and choose that time to misbehave.

  3. Laura says:

    What a beautiful post. I think it’s so wonderful that you talk to your girls about your feelings. You’re teaching them how to have mature, open relationships. I’m sure that has at least something to do with their understanding and compassion.

    • Laura, thank you so much. I have found by naming my feelings that it helps me manage my own stress levels. I can voice my frustration or anger, and it does not seem as scary to the girls.

  4. So right. I have learned to do the same thing. Explain to my children on the days I ‘m not able to do a lot of driving b/c my anxiety is sky high.

    They get it, and they accept it.

    I think they will be incredible husbands and fathers b/c of what I entrust to them.

    • Alexandra,

      Your boys are already incredible because they have you for a mom. You teach them compassion, empathy and understanding on a daily basis. I hope to teach my girls by example how to talk about their feelings so they will continue to learn compassion and empathy.

  5. Pingback: The Morning Routine is Fun | Tranquila Mama

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