I met with my lovely psychiatrist/internal medicine doctor yesterday afternoon. I am so blessed to have found her. I always feel validated and heard after I have an appointment with her. I feel as relaxed as I do after having a yoga session. She exudes calmness and tranquility.
I was asked last week to help assist my old team at work. This sent me into a tailspin of anxiety. I was worried about splitting my focus and not giving either team as much attention and focus as they needed. I consulted with my teammates and two other colleagues. My boss was unfortunately out of the office. I received this request from my boss’s boss so I could not refuse.
I took one for the team, and I made the decision to commit to five hours a week for the next three to four weeks to assist my old team. Based on the ebb and flow of my workload, I could not commit to a particular day. My old boss agreed, and she is giving me fairly easy tasks to complete. I can focus my attention and concentration on continuing to learn the ropes at my new job.
Another trigger for my anxiety has been weaning Skeeter. Her last nursing session was on Memorial Day. My friend Jaime wrote a wonderful post that really resonated with me. http://jamesandjax.com/2012/06/18/the-weaning-blues It was time, and both Skeeter and I were ready. I miss the closeness that we shared. It has been very bittersweet since she is the last child that I will nurse. We have decided to keep our family to just two beautiful girls.
In light of this anxiety, I am now on a very low dose of an anti-anxiety medication to help me through this period of intense anxiety. Once my duties are 100% with my new team, I hope that this anxiety dies down to its manageable buzz instead of this currently incessant roar.