Just Be Enough: It Gets Better

Dear Jenny,

This year started off pretty rough with the loss of Grandma Pody.  I know you miss her so much, and sometimes the grief threatens to overwhelm you.  Know that she is always in your heart.  The people that we love are never truly gone as long as we cherish those memories of our times with them.  She shows up in your life right at the moment when you need her most.  You wish for her to hear you sing one Mother’s Day when you’re unexpectedly chosen to sing the Schubert Ave Maria, and no family is present.  You close your eyes, and you feel her hand in yours.  She is your guardian angel along with Grandma Ernst and your brother.

You won the lead in the school musical Annie.  You earned that part because you were the best one for the part.  Mrs. K believes in you.  To better your performance, she enlists the help of a voice professor at Beloit College.  You learn how to control your voice and use your power.  Continue to use that gift and your power.  Do not let the criticism of others taint your opinion of yourself.  In college, those comments won’t matter.  In fact some of the girls who were jealous of you in high school were delighted to hear that you were still involved in theater after college. 

Sweetie, the boy that you are dating is not the one for you.  You will waste many hours and lots of tears on someone who is just too different from you.  You deserve to be treated like a princess without any ulterior motives.  You stand by your convictions and do not let this boy take your virginity from you.  You also take the high road when this boy and his girlfriend (now wife) make your working environment miserable.  Remember the wise words of your manager at the time.  He took you aside and complimented you on your poise and grace.  You will meet the love of your life and have two beautiful girls.  Life will be a whirlwind of chaos with small children, but you will have moments where time stands still.  Your family takes your breath away on a daily basis. 

You are so beautiful, talented, smart and funny.  Do not diminish your gifts or downplay your intelligence to get people to like you.  If they do not like you as you are, then it is not worth to pursue a friendship.  You will find out after high school who your true friends are.  It gets better.  You find your tribe in college.  You find a group of smart and funny women who are unapologetic in the way that they lead and use their voice.  You finally find your footing and your place.  Then motherhood comes along and rocks you to your core.  Again you find your rhythm.  Just remember this for any stage of your life – it gets better.


Your 36-year-old self


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About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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6 Responses to Just Be Enough: It Gets Better

  1. Beautiful post! The road can be rocky, but you’re right – it gets better. 🙂

    • That year was a tough one for me; it was a mixture of sadness and happiness. Your phrase of the road can be rocky reminded me of the Dave Matthews Band song “Steady as We Go”.

  2. I love that you’ve been able to look back and see how life has changed and give yourself the boost you could have used then.

    • Thank you so much for reading and for commenting. Hindsight is always 20/20. I wish that girl had more confidence in herself and her abilities. I am getting there 20 years later.

  3. This is so beautiful.
    I wish that I could go back too to tell myself that even though things are tough…they will pass.

    • That is so true. It will pass. Fortunately for me I had warrior moms like you who were able to give me hope and encourage me last year when I thought I would feel anxious and depressed forever.

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