I had no idea how much of an influence my journey towards health and fitness had on my little ladies. Munch and Skeeter are my biggest cheerleaders and my most ruthless personal trainers. After getting in an abbreviated two-mile run the other day due to a thunderstorm, my girls insisted that we do a few hills. We live at the bottom of a hill, so I run this hill as my warm-up. After a fast run, I did not have much energy left in my reserves at all, but their enthusiasm was contagious. Munch was able to run up the hill and down the hill like a gazelle. Skeeter ran halfway up the hill and then demanded to be carried up the rest of the hill and back down. She wanted so desperately to keep up with her big sister. Now everything has become a race in our house – a race down the stairs for breakfast, a race out the door, a race to the car, and finally a race into school. When I realized what an impact my running had on my girls, this made my heart so happy. Never underestimate the power of your actions on your children.
My two ballerinas had their dance recital this past weekend, so I spent the weekend honing my skills at creating buns. I used to struggle with my daughters’ curly hair. Their curls are stunning, but they tangle so easily. I have fine, stick straight hair. I have my hair cut short in a bob since college because I do not like to spend much time on my hair. My beauty routine consists of blow drying my hair for five minutes with a round brush and slapping some wax on it to control any fly-aways.
When I gave birth to my beautiful girls, I had no idea they would be blessed with their dad and uncle’s curly locks. They have blondish brown ringlets. I tried in vain to get their hair to submit to my will. I know that I have control issues. This is clear, yes?
In a moment of inspiration a few weeks ago, I signed up for a class on learning how to braid hair. I never learned to braid my hair. I had friends or babysitters who would braid my hair. My girls are Frozen obsessed like most little girls of their age.
Last night, I spent an amazing hour learning not only how to braid but how to French braid my daughters’ hair. The girls sat still, and they let me learn and practice. It’s not the perfect French braid, but that is not my aim. My goal is to learn how to work with them and their unique personalities and not try to force everything to submit to me. The more I force things, the worse it becomes. When I am present, everything just flows.
I find it difficult to articulate at times how amazing my online tribe of friends is. I have met only a handful of these amazing women in real life. This community sustained me at my lowest point of my entire life. Each of them in turn has given guidance, inspiration, encouragement, and hope. Hope is akin to a life-preserver for a warrior mom. Anxiety threatened to drown me. I felt like I choked on the electric current of anxiety always revving my body at one hundred miles an hour. I felt like a hamster on wheel, just chasing my tail.
One of my greatest honors as a blogger is being a member of the Warrior Mom Leadership team. I am part of the editorial team on Postpartum Progress. I believe in this cause with all my heart. I know that hearing other’s stories changed my life, and I know that my story has impacted others.
I am asking my friends, my family, and my readers to support me as I participate in the Climb Out of Darkness to benefit Postpartum Progress. The climb is Held on or near the longest day of the year, women around the world climb, hike or walk to signify climbing out of the darkness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and into the light. My local warrior mom friends are climbing near my house in an amazing location that I hiked on Mother’s Day with a fellow warrior mom. I will be at a family wedding the weekend of the climb, so I will be climbing with my husband and daughters at Devil’s Lake State Park in Baraboo, Wisconsin. Please donate to my fundraiser for Postpartum Progress. I am part of the 1 in 7. One in seven pregnant and new moms will have a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder. The mission of Postpartum Progress is to give new families a stronger start by increasing awareness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and providing tools that connect moms to treatment. As little as $10 will keep the Postpartum Progress website running for one day; this website is the most widely read blog on postpartum mood disorders. Katherine’s tireless advocacy for struggling mamas is apparent through all of her posts, her tweet,s and her presence. The first time I met her – the woman whose website saved my life, I cried tears of relief, gratitude, and joy. The hug from a fellow Warrior Mom is like none other. It is that life affirming hug of “me too”, and “you will be okay”. Please donate to this amazing cause so that all of our daughters, nieces, cousins, friends, and grandchildren are aware of the symptoms of postpartum mood disorders. Mamas and their families all over the world deserve more.
So friends, I have a confession. I started the 21 day fix program, and I did not complete it. Somewhere along the way allergies got the best of me. I stayed up too late, and I lost all my momentum. I backslid into my old habits – too much coffee. My running shoes have been giving me the side-eye since soccer ended last week. In the past I would have beaten myself up mercilessly, and I would have sworn off exercise. I would have started eating junk food again.
I realized that my biggest cheerleaders are watching me. Munch told me that Mommy’s favorite thing to do was exercise. I am inspiring my little girls through my example. So I recommit myself. My biggest obstacle now is time management. I suck at it. I am working on how to better manage my time to guarantee that stress relief of a consistent workout.
My sweet warrior mama friend Kristin of Little Mama Jama asked me to share about my writing process.
1. What am I working on? I am working on two pieces to submit to two other blogs Stigmama and a series called Stigma Fighters running on Old School New School Mom. I am also in the process of writing up reviews of two books I have read. I also have several ideas in my head to begin submitting to other sites. If Listen To Your Mother and my partner in crime, Alexandra, have taught me anything, it is that opportunities come to those who put in the work. How can your work be noticed if you do not take a chance and submit it?
2. How does my work differ from others in my genre? I am still fiercely devoted to my online community of Warrior Moms who are currently struggling with postpartum mood disorders. I write about my parenting, my involvement with Listen To Your Mother, my continuing journey of health (physical and emotional), theatre, and humor. I blog about my life, my hobbies, and my journey as a mama who works outside the house full-time.
3. Why do I write what I write? I wrote as part of my recovery from postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Writing is cathartic and healing for me. I found an amazing community of women who are warrior moms just like me. It is refreshing to be with another mama who simply says “I get it. Me too.” That validation is what we are all looking for. I am a writer. I used to shy away from that title because I felt I had not earned that title yet.
4. How does my writing process work? I come up with ideas and snippets of lines. I put them into drafts or notes on my phone. I am still working on a organizational system for my writing thoughts and suggestions. I also use my time in the shower or on a run to find shape and structure to my thoughts. Some of my posts are edited many times, and others I just sit down and bleed out onto the screen. I’m like Kristin in that respect. Some of my most personal posts have been ones that I have written in one sitting.
Mother’s Day is bittersweet for many women: women who are struggling with infertility, women who have lost a child, women who have lost their own mother, and women struggling with postpartum mood disorders. Please join me over at Postpartum Progress Mother’s Day Rally where I share words of encouragement along with 23 amazing writers who will write letters to struggling mamas.
My own mother is a force of nature. I am in awe of her strength, her generosity and her resilience. My mom gave birth to me when she was only twenty-five years old. She went on to give birth to another baby girl a scant twenty-one months after I was born. Two years after my sister was born, my mom gave birth to my baby brother, Christopher. He survived for a few days due to complications from pulmonary atresia, a congenital heart defect. The following year my maternal grandma, Libby, died. I wonder how my mom mothered her two little girls without that touchstone of her own mother. I can scarcely comprehend the magnitude of that loss.
I wish I could go back in time and give that young mom who had been through so much loss within one year a huge hug. We would sit in the dining room and drink coffee without interruption. Doesn’t that sound glorious? I would tell you that you are so much stronger and braver than you know. I would tell you that your daughters grow up to be mothers themselves, and they look to you as their example. Your daughters are so grateful for the help and support that you provide. You let them mother their own daughters and follow their lead in parenting and disciplining your grandchildren. I would tell you how loved you are and how one of your granddaughters (Skeeter) looks like her uncle Christopher. I would tell you that you personify grace through your actions. I would tell you that your daughters depend on you for advice. They know how much you consider all sides of a situation before you dispense your advice. Above all, they never doubt the depth and magnitude of your love.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
I made the commitment last year to focus on my physical health. A lot of my self-care is exercise. I have two young daughters who look up to me. With a family history of high cholesterol, heart disease, and type II diabetes, exercise and eating healthy is part of my lifestyle. I have my daughters feel my arm muscles. We talk about how exercise keeps us healthy. I talk openly about weight lifting. I tell my girls that lifting weights makes me stronger. I no longer have sciatica after nearly six years of struggling with it while pregnant and postpartum. That freedom from pain was due to building strength back up in my core.
I am in the final months of my diabetes prevention class. We are on the maintenance plan now which is fantastic. When I look back to where I was, the difference is staggering. I love coaching soccer, and i find that I am barely winded after our warm ups. I could run all day long. I can exercise and lead the exercises without getting winded. The difference in my overall cardio endurance, my strength, and my flexibility is 180 degrees different. I love knowing that I am not only a role model for my own daughters but for the little girls that I coach. Making a difference in the lives of others is what I am passionate about. I want daughters and mothers to be healthy in all aspects of their lives – mental, physical and spiritual.