This is an update to my post about how the morning routine was a huge trigger for me. http://tranquilamama.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/my-undoing-the-morning-routine/ The morning routine still creates anxiety for me, but I am able to better manage my reactions to it.
Two of the biggest changes to this routine were stopping pumping in December of this past year. I also began the slow process of weaning Skeeter. I transitioned into a new position at work, and my schedule was changing a bit. I took that time to eliminate the wake up for the day nursing session at the beginning of May. Skeeter had a few rough days, but I make sure to give her some extra cuddle time.
My husband and I are now consistently having Munch pick out her clothing the night before. We lay out as much as we can the night before to avoid rushing around at the last-minute. I also pick out my own clothes for the next day and pack my lunch.
I have talked to Munch a lot about my feelings. I will tell her when she is frustrating me. She and I have had many discussions about how to make the morning go smoother for both of us. A real breakthrough happened within the past two weeks. I told Munch that sometimes I just need a hug. A lot of my frustration stems from the fact that both of the girls do not listen well. I told Munch that it makes me sad. I feel like no one is hearing me and that no one cares. She has taken this to heart. The other day I started to become anxious. Munch turned around and caught my attention. She gave me a huge hug. That moment of connection was all that I needed to come back to myself and to my girls.
I am awed daily by my girls’ capacity for compassion and empathy. Skeeter talks quite a bit, but she cannot articulate her feelings yet. Somehow she intuitively knows the times that I need a snuggle the most. My girls save me from myself every day by their affection and attention. The best part of my day is the joy in their voices and the sparkles in their eyes when I come home.