Spanish Friday – Finding a Forgotten Passion

I am being brave (or foolish) to blog in two languages today.  The title of my blog “Tranquilamama” is inspired by a phrase that was said to me all the time in Spain.  My host mom Maria would always say “Tranquila, Jenny. Don’t cry.” I wear my heart on my sleeve, and leaving Spain to return home after six months was much harder than I expected.   

What I miss most about Spain was that people worked to live, not lived to work.  I try to follow this philosophy, especially now that I have children.  My daughters and my husband are such an important part of my life.  I would not be where I am today without them.  The emphasis on family and relationships is what I cherished most about Spain. 

I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of my second daughter.  I could not find the joy in my life.  As I emerge from the darkness of depression, I am rediscovering my passions.  I have started cooking Spanish food again for my family.  I have prepared pork a la Rioja and roasted red peppers.  I am introducing my girls to salsa, merengue and flamenco music.  I could not immerse myself in Spanish culture because my mind was too noisy.  I could not sit still and watch a movie or a soccer game in Spanish.  Now I have found my passion again.

El título de mi blog viene de un frase que he oído todo el tiempo en España.  Mi madre española, Maria siempre me decía “Tranquila Jenny”.  “No te llores”.  Tengo emociones muy fuertes.  Despues de gastar seis meses en España, sería muy difícil de marcharme del pais y de mis amigos.

Echo de menos de la idea española que la gente trabaja por vivir.  No es como los Estados Unidos donde estamos consumidos por nuestro trabajo.  He tratado de vivir con esta filsofía a causa de mis niñas.  Mi marido y mis hijas son un parte tan importante de mi vida.  No sería lo que estoy hoy sin ellos.  El énfasis en la familia y las relaciones personales son las cosas que me encanto más de España. 

Sufrí de la depresión posparto y la ansiedad posparto después del nacimiento de mi segunda hija.  No podía encontrar la alegría en mi vida.  Como aparecí de la oscuridad de depresión, estoy descubriendo de nuevo mis pasiones.  He empezado de cocinar la comida española para mis hijas.  He preparado chuletas de cerdo a la riojana y pimientos picantes.  Estoy introduciendo a mis hijas a la música de flamenco, salsa y merengue.  Cuando estaba deprimida, no podía sumergirme en la cultura española.  Mi mente estaba lleno de ruido.  No podía disfrutar de mirar a un partido de fútbol porque tuve que estar tranquila.  Ahora he econtrado mi alegría otra vez.

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About tranquilamama

Juggling parenthood, housework and working outside the home in the corporate world with my wonderful husband. Mom to 2 beautiful girls. PPD and PPA survivor. The title of my blog is after a phrase that was repeated to me in Spain during my semester abroad in college. It roughly translates to relax and calm down. Trying to tame my inner perfectionist and just be a good enough mom.
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12 Responses to Spanish Friday – Finding a Forgotten Passion

  1. Tracy López says:

    Welcome to Spanish Friday. What a great post. I understand the need to re-find your passion, (and your passions are similar to mine!) … I love the story about where the name of your blog came from.

    I also identify with you on PPD. I had it with my first son (who is now 13 years old) and it’s a time in my life I will never forget. I have had depression before and after that, but nothing was as horrible as PPD. I’m glad you’re climbing out of it.

    Thanks for participating and I hope you will continue to when you’re able. Abrazos!

    • Thank you so much Tracy! I loved this challenge. I don’t get to use my Spanish as much as I would like at work. I hope to continue to participate in it when I can. I am so glad to have found your space on the Internet and find another fellow gringa and PPD sufferer. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a tough climb out.

  2. beautifully done. I loved reading your words and hearing your voice in them. *HUG*

  3. I am so proud of you. For so many reasons.

    Mostly, because you are reclaiming yourself.

    I enjoyed reading this, and it does me good, too, to read in Spanish. And you will love Tracey, and the other bloggers you meet. It’s so wonderful to move beyond your circles, to expand your reach, and to read others than your usual places.

    It’s so important to keep your world from getting small.

    I am very, very proud of you.

    • I am so excited to rediscover forgotten passions. I realized that I have several Spanish novels sitting in my bookshelf waiting to be read again. I am so excited to discover new writers.

  4. I am a clueless American so could only read the English, but I love how you are reclaiming yourself.

  5. I think this is so so so so lovely.
    Perhaps I will write in both English and Canadian next time…I’m kidding. You know my silliness.

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